Are we heroes or martyrs? Well, it depends on many things. At the beginning of the pandemic, everyone saw us as heroes and I even came to feel like one. But in movies, superheroes are not afraid of anything, and we are afraid of infecting ourselves and infecting our relatives.

Social media was saturated with videos showing everyone’s appreciation to health professionals. Television advertisements also thanking us for our hard work and dedication. Multiple movements were formed to applaud health professionals at night in appreciation for being on the front line of the battle against coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19). On social media, people shared photos and drawings of doctors, nurses, respiratory therapists, and cleaning staff with phrases acknowledging their heroic activity or dressed as superheroes. Singers dedicated songs to fans who work in hospitals. Artists appreciated in their pages the work done. Stores offered discounts and even free food. We did not have to queue in the stores, and they thanked us for the service we were giving. Don’t get me wrong, all of those actions even brought me to tears. It was a little bit of happiness in a world full of chaos. But the days passed and then the weeks and little by little, we began to be forgotten.

But in other parts of the world, it was a very different experience from the start of the pandemic. Social media showed videos and news of nurses who were being discriminated against. People did not want to share the elevator or the stairs with them in residential buildings or public places. Random people left them notes on their doors indicating that they could not continue living there. Others threw chlorine at some nurses while they were trying to use public transportation. Even vehicle drivers would not allow them to get into their cars. In addition to all of this, remember to add the long continuous hours of work. Sometimes they had to work up to 24 h in the hospital.

And what about the use of personal protective equipment (PPE)? Well, it all depends on where you work. Working in a COVID unit or in the emergency room means wearing PPE during the entire work shift. Social media has presented us with the faces of health-care workers full of marks from the use of PPE. Those marks not only remain on the faces but will also remain in their memory. Do you think wearing the mask while shopping is annoying? That’s about 1 h or less of use. Now remember that work shifts are 8 h or more. Those are 8 continuous hours wearing N95 masks that lacerate cheekbones, septum, and chin. The worst thing is that they work several days a week, so frequent use causes lacerations, and the next day you have to use the same fitted mask that you have to put on over the laceration. The fear of contagion is so great that we work without removing the mask, so we do not drink water, and now, we have another additional problem, dehydrated personnel. Before many came to their work shifts with their water bottles which they consumed before the end of the shift but now it is different. What is better to live a little dehydrated or get infected?

And not to mention the clothing. It does not matter if you only wear a plastic robe or a coverall, you will feel very hot when using it. After working for 30 min caring for a patient, you are all sweaty, and so we have to stay like that the rest of the shift, because there is no time to lose. You may ask yourself, doesn’t they have air conditioning at the hospital? Yes, but the amount of PPE and the material it is made of is like being in a plastic bag for hours. This adds to the already dehydrated staff working at the hospitals. It is surely a hazard to all of health-care workers.

Long working hours and the number of patients to attend to are no longer the same as before, one can say it has doubled and, in some places, even tripled. The first few weeks of the pandemic, people did not want to go to the hospital unless it was more than necessary; they thought they could get COVID-19 while there. This caused that in the hospitals where only a few patients but as the cases of COVID-19 increased, the emergency rooms began to fill patients with all the suspected cases of COVID-19. Little by little the hospitals began to fill with patients, and the staff did not give time to take care of all of them. The intensive care units began to fill with the COVID-19-infected patients who were in worse condition. The task of proning a patient has never been easy, but now, we have to do it with all the PPE on. On top of it, all of those who didn’t take good care of themselves for months now are arriving at the hospitals too sick.

These big quantities of work hours wearing a mask and proper PPE at first looked just like a warning of what was to come, for some meant rethinking, am I fit for the job? Did I study the right thing? I can contaminate someone? To many nurses this came as a shock, some weren’t willing to go through this, as so there where many nurses who where up to the job even though they were scared. I mean they are humans; I believe humans are the most vulnerable creatures of this world because they are exposed to all impurities that surround them, and COVID-19 came not only as a life lesson demonstrating not only how fragile life is but how our minds function and how emotions play a big role in our lives. Those nurses who decided they were not fit for this job are not considered weak, but instead what demonstrates is the mind playing defense mechanism.

Professional interrelations were affected, and differences in opinion came in and shook the minds of those who wanted to be in the front line. Some thought that they were not being rightfully protected by their institutions, and there came the problems, there came the real tears. Everyone had a different opinion, they were not all on the same page, the institutions and all the leaders were so stressed, they had this “hurricane category 5” on top of them that it was difficult to think straight right. COVID-19 was a novel thing, and they had no previous clue of how to protect humanity, it doesn’t matter where do you live, the impact would be imminent, and it’s already here. Now, they were so centered on planning how to manage that they forgot about the stress bomb forming underneath them, the staff was full of insecurities and fear, and it had to be addressed as top priority. What should the institutions address first the need for PPE or the fear of the staff? Both things are equally important, but it was easier to look for PPE than to take care of the staff emotions. That’s why many of the staff called in sick for days and even for a whole month, they wanted to make sure that the correct PPE was available before going back to work. Who can blame them? Maybe you think that we are heroes because we are the first line of defense, but what if I tell you that we are not only afraid but also tired. The long hours of work take a toll on us. We weren’t mentally prepared for this, and the worst part is, we are mentally exhausted, yet, we are doing our job and trying to survive during this pandemic. But as days goes by, we are dealing with it better, the support from coworkers, relatives, and friends helps to get us through, and social media is a wonderful way to stay together.

This pandemic not only affects emotionally nurses, it affects doctors too. On March, the first health-care professional, a nurse, got infected. The doctor explained to her that she needed to be intubated. That moment affected everyone in the intensive care unit. The natural thought was that could be me. At that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was to tell my family how much I love them. I wanted to get out of the shift, I didn’t want to take care of my patient because she is my coworker, and I was devastated by looking at her getting sicker. I knew I needed to be there for her, she needed me as her nurse and I knew that mentally I could do the job. Right there it hit me, I had to forget my emotions and do the job. As nurses we go through so much stress, it is unbearable at times. We are working with lives, and saving people is our number one priority, so many people depend on us. Seeing her intubated and not getting any better stranded nurses and doctors in the hospital. Every single time any of us took a look at her though that could be any of us. Heroes don’t get scared, heroes don’t cry, and heroes are strong. Now, I no longer want to be a hero.

Seeing patients getting better gives me hopes in humanity and life. Not everything is lost, it gives me the strength I need to go back to work every day and be a better health-care professional and a good coworker. Coping has many stages, and COVID-19 have us going through all of them. COVID-19 not only came as a virus but also to teach us how vulnerable we can be and how important it is to constantly educate ourselves and evolve. Changing will get us through this pandemic. Every day is a new lesson to learn. We will rise wiser and stronger like the superheroes.

Talk about being a health-care worker and a teacher at the same time, it was truly stressful. After a long day at the hospital, now, it is the time to be a parent. How can someone who is mentally exhausted can help a child with the schoolwork? I think after this, the true heroes are the teachers. Teaching multiplication to a child can be painful as being on your feet for 8 h and harder than getting a peripheral intravenous into a dehydrated patient. Tell me that is not overwhelming but trying to be a health-care professional, a parent, and a teacher? This proved to be too much, but at the end, we have been able to do it.

Protocol? Is there a protocol? Who do we follow? I mean Centers for Disease Control and Prevention places a new protocol every day and a new thing every time you open a computer? World Health Organization is all so popping and cooking COVID-19 information and standards. Every time an infectologist comes through the door they have a new plan to try, whether it is vitamin C by loads, remdesivir, convalescent plasma, proning a patient, I mean I understand all, but it feels like a race to see who does better, who wins the race. As all of this runs through my mind, the word “protocol” is right behind. Every time my supervisor calls a huddle and she starts with, I know this is all hard on us, the next thing I hear is “protocol” in my mind because I know that something and somebody new came up with a new thing that we are going to try and that not only gives me goosebumps but gets me in tears and I want to run and cry, but at the same time, I just take a deep breath and say to myself “let’s do this, you got this.”

COVID-19 vs health-care system that is our reality. Health vs economy? Can you only imagine what could happen if this wave of patients keeps on going up? The economy is important, but life is too. Are health-care workers heroes or martyrs? You have the answer in your hands. Taking care of yourself and your family from exposing to COVID-19 is the way to go. I will be your hero when you get sick and I take care of you. If you expose yourself to COVID-19 and get infected, I will be a martyr taking care of you, but at the same time, fearing I could get contaminated from you.

Are we really heroes? Are we treated as heroes? Heroes always overcome evil but we have already lost a lot. At the beginning of the year, I saw news from China and Europe where health professionals were dying from COVID-19. It saddened me to know that so many were dying, but at the same time, I was wondering, how is this possible? Those are the kind of things that must see to believe. Sadly, the time came when I had to see a colleague die. On that day, many of us cried including doctors, nurses, and respiratory therapists. The sadness was felt in the environment which later became into fear. No one goes to work in search of death, we work for the health of many, but now, it is ours that is in danger. That day we realized how vulnerable we are to this virus. The days passed, and the news about the deaths of doctors and nurses around the world continued. People gave up their lives to combat COVID-19. We don’t want to lose more health professionals in this battle.

The obligatory question is, do we want to be heroes or do we want to be martyrs? I think we don’t want to be either. Each professional wants to be appreciated for their work, but in the same way, they want to be able to do it safely. We want to have the right PPE that protects us well and not use what “is better than nothing.” The best way to protect health professionals is by following the recommendations of the experts. It is necessary for the population to avoid becoming infected, and this is achieved with physical distancing, the use of a mask, and frequent hand washing. There are three simple actions that we must take to stop this virus, and that no other health professional ends up being a martyr to the pandemic.

Do I believe in humanity after quarantine? As a human I believe that as an adult and as a nurse I do think that we need to educate our present and future about prevention, which is the most important base of all. If you educate, you can help to stop the spread of any infection that comes in our way. Life as I see it is based on prioritizing, and it should be based on having a constant education. Education is the base, and we should be responsible for our own education and for educating our families and the whole community. And how do we do this? Here is my answer, one person at a time, that’s the way. Building trust is never easy, and right now, humanity has lost trust in a lot of things, and they only believe what is tangible or their own life experiences, unfortunately, that is the reality in many homes around the world. Now, our responsibility is to rebuild that trust. As health-care providers, we should not only be the ones who rebuild that trust, but first, we should be able to work on ourselves, that is caring for the provider. Our peers can help us to do so. We share so much time together and have so many things alike that we can understand each other. There could be another pandemic or a natural disaster, but we all have the ability to be a hero again, we need to build our strength.